Monday, October 10, 2011

Makin' Babies

I have several friends who have struggled with fertility issues trying to start a family.  One of my wife's old coworkers went all the way to India to have a treatment done that supposedly, even with the air fare, was cheaper than having it done in The States.  A couple have taken the fertility drugs and another set have had artificial insemination.  My wife's aunt couldn't conceive, so she adopted some wonderful children (now adults). 

All of this makes me feel awkward announcing the joy of triplets after two other kids.  This was 100% natural.  In fact, it's scary how easy this has been for us.  Which is probably why there is a twinge of guilt involved. 

With our first, we had only been married five months before my wife went off birth control.  We figured it would take awhile to conceive.  You know, drugs have to leave the system an all.  The whole routine needs to be auto corrected in her body and what not.  Well we were wrong.  Very wrong.  She had one period after she went off the NuvaRing.  The next month she had a surgery scheduled down there for something she had to take care of.  The day she went in, standard practice, they did a pregnancy test.  She was only 4 weeks along.  We knew before the typical panic of "oops, I missed my period" even hit.

Because she breastfed our daughter for a year, we chose not to do birth control for her so her milk production wouldn't be affected.  That means I threw on a jimmy cap every time we went to town.  I remember the day I was in the mood, but wasn't in the mood for protection.  I mean seriously, condoms suck and when you're married they are even worse!  Just over a month later, about a week after my daughter's one year birthday, she missed and panicked.  Yep, that pregnancy test came back positive. 

You know what they say about the best laid plans.  We wanted 2 years between pregnancies.  So much for that. 

At this point, I should know better than being selfish with our extra curricular activities.  We had a scare at the beginning of the summer when another test had to be used.  I was so happy that came back negative.  It's not that I dont' want more kids, I just need more time to let the ones I already have to grow up.  But when libido is involved, well let's just say that nature has a way of ensuring chemistry and primal urges align. 

One afternoon the kids were down for a nap and I was lucky she was in the mood.  First our daughter woke up early.  This was not going to stop me, I could put on some Dora the Explorer in the living room and have at least half an hour to ourselves.  As my greedy little plan was coming together, our son decided to wake up early as well.  Not to be deterred, I busted out the play pen and locked him in front of another electronic baby sitter.  We jumped in the shower and had some of the best sex in years!

This my friends is where karma is a bitch.  The forces of the universe were trying to prevent the impending doom but I wouldn't hear any of it!  A month later we're chillin' on the couch talking about our new nephew who was born that morning.  You know, cause we're not the only ones making babies.  She says "so I took a test today."  Naive little me thought she was talking about some cheesy Cosmo or email forward joke test.  I said "how'd you score?" "Positive," she said.  "Huh?"

I hate to admit it, but my stomach turned.  Like I said, it's not that I didn't want more kids eventually, but holy crap, three within three years is a bit much.  Fast forward a month to when she told me we are having triplets and five kids in three years becomes the biggest cosmic joke ever!

Am I happy we are fertile, of course.  Should I curtail my joy in front of those less fortunate? Probably.  But then again, who doesn't love babies?

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