Thursday, September 22, 2011

I'm not just an Alibi

Bout to explain some drama that has nothing to do with me, I promise there's a point.  Well, there's at least a point where I bring the topic back to me and how it affected me.  Cause isn't that the point of everything, to talk about me?  Yes, thank you for agreeing with me.

One of my contractors and I have become close friends over the last four years we've been working together.  He's gone through sort of a life overhaul the past year.  The first major move, aside from moving back across the country to work for me again, was getting rid of his nine-year-boyfriend.  He spent the better part of that nine years carrying the emotional and financial weight of that relationship.  I definitely supported this decision as, the punk was just lazy (no joke, wouldn't work more than a couple hours a week max) and had serious conflicts about his homosexuality and thus made their relationship remain closeted the entire time.  How do you every grow as a couple when you're not allowed to be a couple outside of your home? But That's not the point, so I'll move on.

My friend found a new fixation.  Yes as typical of long term relationships fizzling out, he found someone new prior to the break up.  Tsk, tsk.  This new guy still has another man in his life.  Queue the gay soap opera theme music.  Now the new boy works for my friend, meaning I now work with him.  I don't really have an issue with the new guy.  He and his crew have made my friend much more out and proud than he'd ever been before.  It's been good for him to really come out and accept himself too.  That said, it's been six months and the new guy's other guy is still in the picture.  So that makes my friend the mistress right?

Well, he met another dude online recently.  He told his...wait, what do you call a mistress's man?  Is he the mister?  Surely he's not just a boyfriend?  In this case he's definitely not a sugar daddy which at this point my friend was/is one for his ex even though the ex was a couple years older than him.  Doormat.  Oops, did I just say that?

So the story he told his f**k buddy, yeah, that sounds better, about who this online guy was believable.  He wanted to lessen the suspicion about why this guy would text him and whatnot.  The f-buddy and his boyfriend are nosy...funny that my friend has to deal, daily, with other man...I'd call it karma, but the f-buddy isn't being affected, so it's not quite universal balance.  Again, I digress.  The problem with the story, is I was present when the lie was told, so I didn't actually realize the truth (online=truth; a customer from the university=lie).  So we'd been talking about missed hook ups with this guy for weeks, and I really didn't get it....I knew he was hiding it from the f-buddy, but not that they'd never met. 

Here's where it starts coming back to me.  Once I asked the right questions to get my friend to say "oh shit, I didn't realize you'd only heard the lie...that explains why you've been less than helpful every time I've asked for advice about "Online Boy."  Well, duh, I thought it was just a really pushy customer who liked you, not someone you've been pursuing.  They'd been having a hard time meeting because f-buddy is very intrusive, just like a boyfriend without most of the benefits.  Lots of apologies later I offered a solution.  I invited my friend to go see another one of my friend's bands play downtown.  They could meet up for a date and catch up with me later and bam we gots cover right?

Well, a cheater never trusts his partner because well they must be a cheater too right?  F-Buddy told him he wasn't going downtown alone...what am I, chopped liver...they're all going with?  So instead of having a couple of gay guys accompany me to a hard rock show in a dirty dive bar, I was going to have an entourage!  Fine, should be fun.

Well, this means that my friend and online boy still need to meet.  I was asked to be the alibi.  Sure whatever.  I texted him to invite him out for drinks and he accepted.  The cover would be that I originally invited him because we haven't gone out in forever and while the whole crew would be fun, I'd like to actually just spend some quality time with my friend. 

Now here's where the "best" laid plans go awry.  My daughter hid my phone from me that night.  I missed the text saying that he'd been stood up.  Online boy no showed.  We could have had a conversation prior but that didn't happen.  The next day he'd given me the low down via text but because he was working with f-buddy, he didn't get to talk.  I show up that afternoon and find out that because I stood him up last night...which of course is what he told f-buddy who was texting every 5 minutes of the evening because cheaters trust no one yeah?  Again, digression, I stood him up, so they're all bailing on me. 

Admittedly, my friend wouldn't have normally come with me to a rock show but we were utilizing the opportunity.  So him not coming shouldn't hurt my feelings but it did a little.  But then I found out he was at the restaurant waiting for online boy for an hour.  Because f-buddy was texting the whole time like a goddam suspicious parent, he knew "I" didn't let him know I wasn't coming until an hour after I was supposed to be there.  My friend was stood up and that sucks.  Made him want to make f-buddy really work now, so that's good.  F-buddy has to dump his other guy though soon for it to work.

But now I'm a total asshole.  Who the hell stands his friend up and doesn't tell him he's not coming until he's been waiting an hour?  I'm not a flake! But as the alibi, I have to be the jerk.  I've been defamed and it pisses me off!  I'm sorry my friend was stood up, but don't make me an total douche as well. 

I guess it's good that he sucks at lying and that's why he followed my instructions to just make what ever online boy did, what I did.  Meaning of course, if they drank wine, "we" drank wine, ya know?  Not if he stood you up, I stood you up!

So I was defamed and dejected all for nothing I did.  CHEATERS NEVER WIN!  But apparently neither do their co-conspirators.  He's since apologized repeatedly and it's all going to be OK, because f-buddy can think I'm an ass and I still will be around, but I will never block for him again.  Don't screw your friends over, they're far more important than a partner who won't even make your relationship monogamous!

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