Tuesday, September 27, 2011

We're having Triplets

No, that title wasn't just to grab your attention.  We really are having triplets. 

Most people I've told, I start with "Tina (wife) is pregnant again."  They do the normal reaction, be it "OMG, you guys are having more? One of each wasn't enough?" or it's "OMG how are you going to afford it?" or the preferred is "Oh wow, congratulations!"  Then I get to come back with "Oh wait, there's more."  Which many say, "TWINS????"  It's when I say the word triplets that every single person has said "you're joking, no way."  Why would I make that up?  It's not really that funny...unless you're on the outside, then everyone gets to laugh cause they're glad it isn't them. 

So because the next question after the shock and condolences are offered is, "well, were you guys doing fertility stuff?"  I've streamlined my responses at this point, "Nope, we did this the old fashioned way."

So then starts the questions about any pregnancy, when is she due, what are you having etc.  Then they start asking about how she's doing, you know cause family and friends care.

I can tell you this, now that she's 15 weeks along, I'm comfortable talking about it here.  It took me a week or so before I was telling people about them.  Tina didn't start sharing until a week or so ago.  Well, family knew, but the rest of the world is just finding out.  She's still scared, which is understandable, so she wasn't in the bragging stage like I was.

We knew she was pregnant at 5 weeks, cause after two kids you just don't do the college panic and call all your friends to ask for moral support before you take your test.  Yes I'm speaking from experience.  My best friend was a girl in high school and college and frankly it seemed every month she'd need a test only to start the next day.  She went to the doctor's at 8 weeks to confirm and do all the normal stuff.  I stayed at home with the kids.  I know it sounds cold, but I don't need to hear the heartbeat for the first time to feel a connection.  Besides chasing a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old around a waiting room isn't my idea of wise parenting. 

She'd been gone for a couple hours when she text me the following:

When you go to the doctor about your pregnancy, the last thing you need to text your husband is "We'll talk when I get home!!"   I assumed we'd lost the baby.  Why else would it take so long AND have a text like that?

She calls an hour and a half later and is on her way home.  After worrying the whole time I said "No matter how emotional it is, you just need to spit it out."  She says "It's triplets."  I said "Don't fuck with me, Tina, what's wrong?"  She said "No, there's three."  I couldn't speak.  I said "I'll talk to you when you get home."

Yep, a wife always knows huh?  I'll erase this post and deny all knowledge of that statement if you put me under oath.

Well there you have it.  Sometime between the 3rd week of January and the 2nd week of February we'll go from 2 children to 5.  We just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary.  You'd think the were a long string of Irish twins at this rate.  Our cat will never know what hit him.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I'm not just an Alibi

Bout to explain some drama that has nothing to do with me, I promise there's a point.  Well, there's at least a point where I bring the topic back to me and how it affected me.  Cause isn't that the point of everything, to talk about me?  Yes, thank you for agreeing with me.

One of my contractors and I have become close friends over the last four years we've been working together.  He's gone through sort of a life overhaul the past year.  The first major move, aside from moving back across the country to work for me again, was getting rid of his nine-year-boyfriend.  He spent the better part of that nine years carrying the emotional and financial weight of that relationship.  I definitely supported this decision as, the punk was just lazy (no joke, wouldn't work more than a couple hours a week max) and had serious conflicts about his homosexuality and thus made their relationship remain closeted the entire time.  How do you every grow as a couple when you're not allowed to be a couple outside of your home? But That's not the point, so I'll move on.

My friend found a new fixation.  Yes as typical of long term relationships fizzling out, he found someone new prior to the break up.  Tsk, tsk.  This new guy still has another man in his life.  Queue the gay soap opera theme music.  Now the new boy works for my friend, meaning I now work with him.  I don't really have an issue with the new guy.  He and his crew have made my friend much more out and proud than he'd ever been before.  It's been good for him to really come out and accept himself too.  That said, it's been six months and the new guy's other guy is still in the picture.  So that makes my friend the mistress right?

Well, he met another dude online recently.  He told his...wait, what do you call a mistress's man?  Is he the mister?  Surely he's not just a boyfriend?  In this case he's definitely not a sugar daddy which at this point my friend was/is one for his ex even though the ex was a couple years older than him.  Doormat.  Oops, did I just say that?

So the story he told his f**k buddy, yeah, that sounds better, about who this online guy was believable.  He wanted to lessen the suspicion about why this guy would text him and whatnot.  The f-buddy and his boyfriend are nosy...funny that my friend has to deal, daily, with other man...I'd call it karma, but the f-buddy isn't being affected, so it's not quite universal balance.  Again, I digress.  The problem with the story, is I was present when the lie was told, so I didn't actually realize the truth (online=truth; a customer from the university=lie).  So we'd been talking about missed hook ups with this guy for weeks, and I really didn't get it....I knew he was hiding it from the f-buddy, but not that they'd never met. 

Here's where it starts coming back to me.  Once I asked the right questions to get my friend to say "oh shit, I didn't realize you'd only heard the lie...that explains why you've been less than helpful every time I've asked for advice about "Online Boy."  Well, duh, I thought it was just a really pushy customer who liked you, not someone you've been pursuing.  They'd been having a hard time meeting because f-buddy is very intrusive, just like a boyfriend without most of the benefits.  Lots of apologies later I offered a solution.  I invited my friend to go see another one of my friend's bands play downtown.  They could meet up for a date and catch up with me later and bam we gots cover right?

Well, a cheater never trusts his partner because well they must be a cheater too right?  F-Buddy told him he wasn't going downtown alone...what am I, chopped liver...they're all going with?  So instead of having a couple of gay guys accompany me to a hard rock show in a dirty dive bar, I was going to have an entourage!  Fine, should be fun.

Well, this means that my friend and online boy still need to meet.  I was asked to be the alibi.  Sure whatever.  I texted him to invite him out for drinks and he accepted.  The cover would be that I originally invited him because we haven't gone out in forever and while the whole crew would be fun, I'd like to actually just spend some quality time with my friend. 

Now here's where the "best" laid plans go awry.  My daughter hid my phone from me that night.  I missed the text saying that he'd been stood up.  Online boy no showed.  We could have had a conversation prior but that didn't happen.  The next day he'd given me the low down via text but because he was working with f-buddy, he didn't get to talk.  I show up that afternoon and find out that because I stood him up last night...which of course is what he told f-buddy who was texting every 5 minutes of the evening because cheaters trust no one yeah?  Again, digression, I stood him up, so they're all bailing on me. 

Admittedly, my friend wouldn't have normally come with me to a rock show but we were utilizing the opportunity.  So him not coming shouldn't hurt my feelings but it did a little.  But then I found out he was at the restaurant waiting for online boy for an hour.  Because f-buddy was texting the whole time like a goddam suspicious parent, he knew "I" didn't let him know I wasn't coming until an hour after I was supposed to be there.  My friend was stood up and that sucks.  Made him want to make f-buddy really work now, so that's good.  F-buddy has to dump his other guy though soon for it to work.

But now I'm a total asshole.  Who the hell stands his friend up and doesn't tell him he's not coming until he's been waiting an hour?  I'm not a flake! But as the alibi, I have to be the jerk.  I've been defamed and it pisses me off!  I'm sorry my friend was stood up, but don't make me an total douche as well. 

I guess it's good that he sucks at lying and that's why he followed my instructions to just make what ever online boy did, what I did.  Meaning of course, if they drank wine, "we" drank wine, ya know?  Not if he stood you up, I stood you up!

So I was defamed and dejected all for nothing I did.  CHEATERS NEVER WIN!  But apparently neither do their co-conspirators.  He's since apologized repeatedly and it's all going to be OK, because f-buddy can think I'm an ass and I still will be around, but I will never block for him again.  Don't screw your friends over, they're far more important than a partner who won't even make your relationship monogamous!

Friday, September 16, 2011

When You Don't Have Anything to Say

I'm completely guilty of this, so don't think I'm on a pedestal or soap box.

The store I office out of is in a very large shopping center.  The past month the landlords have had a crew out working on the parking lot on the North side of the complex.  They are doing the best job I've ever seen a parking lot redone.  They are actually breaking the ground and removing the asphalt and the top layer of concrete below it.  Then are relaying new asphalt.  Normally, I've seen patches done and restriping and that's the extent of the improvement.

Well they are ahead of schedule and have begun doing the area behind our building and are about to break ground out front.  As a car rental facility that has 20+ cars regularly, parking is at a premium, let alone the fact that the area where they clean vehicles is not accessible.  Bottom line, it's a pain in the ass.

So every day the store operator has moaned and groaned about the work.  I've listened to him talk to the transfer drivers and customers saying "I can't wait until they are done." "This is such a pain," etc.  Nothing just over the top, but negative all the same.

This summer has been the worst heat conditions on record.  Nearly every day since May (with a small handful of exceptions) it's been over 100 degrees outside.  This is the typical go to gripe/topic of conversation.  Again, just negativity.

It struck me yesterday that small talk has dwindled to nothing but complaining and the weather.  I know the weather is the universal idle chit chat.  So I'm not surprised, nor am I innocent of failing to rising above it.  I just seems that it's the poor approach to life.

While cracking wise about someone or something's stupidity and many times insane audacity is funny and an easy topic, I wonder if it would be worth it to always try to focus on the positive.  Then again, I hear people say, "she's always so bubbly, I just want to smack her."

So what's the happy medium?  If you talk about how great things are going, like the fact that I'm currently showing the best numbers of my career regarding sales and profit in my district, I'd sound like a braggart. 

Does it say something about my mental health and that of others that we prefer to dwell on the negative instead of focusing on the positive?  Or, as I've been known to say like the asshole that I am, "I'm just a realist?"

How do you remain positive, or do you just stick to making jokes about the crap you see everywhere?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Anti Harassment Training

Time has come to recertify for our company's Anti Sexual Harassment policy.  I have to watch a video training about all the aspects of harassment.  Afterward I have a test to take and an acknowledgement to sign.  It's the same video every year.  I realize they can't spend a fortune to revamp this every year, but surely there are ways to make it more relevant annually.  Just making me watch a video and regurgitate answers about the scenarios seems pointless. 

Does your company have an innovative approach or do you get the same doldrums of "he said, she said."

What's an hour and a half of my life each year right?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remembering 9/11

I watched the ceremonies for the September 11th attacks tenth anniversary.  We surfed between stations to get all the different ones for NYC, DC and Pennsylvania.  The one in NYC where victims' family members read the names of all the victims of the attacks was powerful.  I got very emotional this morning.  Probably also why I flipped to the other two periodically.

It brought back to the forefront of my mind what made the two towers so special and why their significance was greater than other targets they could have chosen.  There were people of all race, age, wealth, nationality, gender and sexuality taken that day.  Seeing their sons and daughters, husbands and wives, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers, life partners and friends and even god parents and in-laws really made it sink in how diverse the group was.  It was a giant cross section of America and it's influences housed in one building.

I've visited NYC a few times since the attacks as well as Shanksville, PA.  I've never been to DC but it's top of my list for next adventures.  When I was in PA, they still had the temporary memorial in place.  The last time I was in New York, ground zero was still a giant construction hole.  It looks like they've done some incredible work to all three locations.

Looking at Facebook and Twitter today, it's clear this event still brings the country together.  So impressive and inspiring.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Fires to the Left of Me & Fires to the Right, Here I Am...

Sunday marked the 80th consecutive day where temperatures reached 100* or more.  That's not including the better portion of May over 100 either.  We've had minimal rain here in Central Texas (minimal meaning it's sprinkled a couple times throughout the entire summer...we're remarkably down from normal) even the lakes and rivers are nearly dry.  As you can imagine, our lawns aren't exactly lush green pastures right about now.  If they are, that's a jerk who has chosen to ignore the water restrictions because he matters more than everyone else.

So yesterday was our first break.  It only got to 95*.  Sigh of relief? Oh hell no.  Fires have been taking out chunks of the freeway meadows (not sure what else to call them) for a month now.  Sunday massive fires broke out in Leander (NW suburb) and Bastrop (SE suburb) and a couple other places within an hour's drive.

The crew I managed a few years ago at our airport facility consists of primarily retired citizens.  They drive our cars around town part time just to keep themselves busy and we're grateful for the cheaper labor.  A large majority of these folks live in the Bastrop area.  It's unfortunately the area that is still on fire two days later.  Six of them have confirmed their house is gone.  I haven't heard from another.  There are a handful of other friends in the area who lost land, but not structure.  My friends in Leander seem to be OK. 

I drive past this weekly!

These are still burning!  FEMA will be in tomorrow, but I'm not sure what they do, nor when the fire's will be under control.  I'm flabbergasted.  Maybe I'm just naive, but wouldn't you think a major city like Austin would have plans in place for this kind of disaster?

We've been working with our HR department to get a fund set up to help our folks who have lost their homes.  I was really impressed at how compliant they were to assist us.  They aren't always great about thinking outside the box.  Then again, they are in New Jersey, so maybe charity after 9/11 changed their tune. 

Please keep these folks in your thoughts and prayers if you got em. 

Monday, September 5, 2011

Yahoo Hack Attack

I opened up a Yahoo mail account my senior year of high school. That's nearly 13 years ago!  Back then I had a password that had to be reset and I kept the preordained password they assigned to me ever since.  I remember this wasn't the first, but they all had this odd pattern.

For nearly 12 years my yahoo password was flexibleearth12.  I recall another one they gave me (well almost, don't recall the numbers) it was silverbed##.  They just paired two randomish words together and slapped a couple numbers at the end. 

I didn't mind typing out that long of a password and don't know why it never occurred to me to change it and be uniform with my other go to password with the slight variation.  You know you do it too, so don't give me that look.

So Friday I received a couple of spammy emails from myself.  I opened up my Yahoo mail on my iPhone and had dozens of Mailer Demons and various bounce back responses.  Dammit, I was hacked...again!

Earlier that day, I'd logged off my company VPN and then remembered I needed to forward something to myself to work on later.  I just pulled up yahoo...much faster than logging back in, right?  It rejected my password twice and I didn't think it was odd, I just figured I fat fingered it or something innocent.  Nope, I must have mistyped mail.yahoo.com somehow and got to a phishing site.

So this is the second time this year I've been hacked.  For 12 years, I've had flexibleearth12 and a few months ago, Yahoo blocked me out of my phone and sent me a message to log in online and correct my account as they'd detected a hack.  Guess they missed this one!

So now I'm back up and running.  I know I have sent emails from my personal account to all sorts of people.  Professors, employees, employers, friends, family, craigslisters, businesses and everyone in between.  It appears they spammed Canadian pharmacy websites to everyone I've ever emailed.  Including people in all of the aforementioned categories...even those with "former" linked to it.  I wonder what goes through their mind...you know especially those I've fired or fucked (both figuratively and physically).  Ah well, such is life in our wired world laden with what I deem as terrorists.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Media Seeps in Everywhere

My wife says "Bedtime for Bonzo" all the time, well specifically at night and usually to the kids, but still.  I'd never known where it came from but didn't put much stock in it either.  Then last night one of my friends put it on their Facebook status.  OK, so the nerd in me had to ask where it came from.  She said her dad always said it to her.  That same nerd in me made me look it up because that random of nonsense is just not coincidence. 

Lo and behold!

Yep, that's Ronald Reagan starring with a Chimpanzee.  Must have been a true career high.

A couple quick review skims and it seems it's not as gawdawful as I imagined it would be. 

Happy Friday!