Thursday, June 30, 2011

Burial Tomb: For Sale By Owner

While in New Orleans, I decided I wanted to go visit La Fayette Cemetery. You know, cause nothing says relaxing vacation like melting in the sweltering heat with corpses beneath your feet. Then again, in a city where a funeral parade is the norm, you gotta check out what the what is! So we jump on a street car and go grab a bite for lunch. We discovered long before now that New Orleans food service is a marathon event and not a sprint, but still we were hopeful to be surprised with a normal dining speed at some point.  We were wrong.

By the time lunch was through and we'd made it to the cemetery it was closed.  Cemeteries close? Not that I expected them to keep a famous spot open to the public through the wee hours of the night, but 2pm is hardly hooligan hour.

So we ventured to La Fayette number 2.  It didn't look like that much of a hike up the same street so we took to the road.  Now, I've gotten down on people who work in my company and ask me to pick up a vehicle 200 miles away like it's nothing only to hear them say, "oh, well it doesn't look that far on the map." I have to remind them that this is Texas and eight of their states can fit inside of it! Shame on me for neglecting to account that this venture was ON FOOT with two children in 100* weather with gallons of moisture per inch floating in the air. 

At last we made it through the ghetto to one of three cemeteries.  The first was the only one not closed as well. I soon realized why.  Apparently Katrina or Time or some other devastating event had not been kind to this plot of land.  Nearly every crypt was broken in some way.  Many were entirely destroyed which kind of breaks your heart when you consider the effort that was once put into the enshrinement of loved ones.  There were quite a few larger structures that held multiple remains that were ripped apart and various members of the undead relocated/missing/homeless?/obliterated. 

But even in the most sacred of places.  A place where I should hold more reverence knowing the destruction it's withstood, I still found a some humor. 

So this is one of those multi-person tomb structures.  One whole side of it is gone meaning some Cajun zombies were wreaking havoc on a city in peril a few years ago.  The face was gone as well as the body.  Inside were several of those catholic prayer candles you see in the most random places in your grocery store. But if you look to the right a few candles back you see some straight voodoo shit!

That's a can of Planter's Peanuts and a bundle of herbs atop.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to die a slow painful death just for photographing it, let alone posting it on the interwebs.

But this one by far was the most disturbing.  So who owns your final resting place? You or your "loved ones"?

Guess they forgot the number one rule of real estate. Location, Location, Location. 

Eventually I'd like to go back to New's only an 8 hour drive after all.  They do ghost tours of the cemeteries on the other side of town.  There are also tons of restaurants that called my name but the lack of time and burden of sleepy/cranky children didn't permit.

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