Friday, January 14, 2011

Yo, Quit Jackin' with My Sign!

I must have missed a critical piece of information in physical science classes.  I had no idea the sun revolved around anything.  So when I started seeing all these articles about how the sun now travels through a new constellation, I became a little confused.  (Link, Link, Linkity, Freaking Link.)  There are now 13 signs of the Zodiac instead of 12.  A constellation that is now being included is called Ophiuchus, The Snake Charmer...also known as Serpentarius.
Here's the new lay out courtesy of the Time link above.
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Feb. 16-March 11.
March 11-April 18.
April 18-May 13.
May 13-June 21.
June 21-July 20.
July 20-Aug. 10.
Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

OK, fine.  Welcome to the crazy club.  I hate that I'm admitting this, but irritates me that I just got bumped.  I'm no longer Scorpio, I'm a Libra.  WTH?  Why are there some signs that last only a week and other that last nearly six?  This might be my official vow to end all talk forever about star signs. 

Oh and here's just a reality check.  While looking at the Time link I noticed the trending stories below.  Wiki is 10 years old (high school research papers never saw this coming!), a boy reenacted the "tongue stuck to the frozen pole" scene from A Christmas Story, and the Pope is seeking the "Perfect Christian Name" because Mary Theresa and Jesus (I've still never met a non-"Hey Zeus" Jesus) just weren't quite the dead give away that you're a Catholic he's looking for.  Always be mindful of the company you keep!  Notice the flooding in Australia, volcano in Sicily, or the collapse of the Lebanese government didn't quite make the cut!

As an aside, if we now travel through a constellation that everyone already knew about, wouldn't that mean we've always had it around?  So why change anything?  More so, aren't constellations just random groupings of stars that are billions of miles away from each other, but from our perspective they are side by side?  More so, couldn't you come up with a gillion more constellations if you started looking around the sky?  Hell with the way my daughter colors, she'd be able to connect those dots in no time.  We've all been the same sign this whole time, you just needed a two-year old to map it out!


  1. Freaky. Me thinks someone just wants to stir the pot, as it were.

    When did astrology get to be so serious? I thought it was just something to read in the paper, after the headlines and the comics.

  2. You mean you don't worship at the alter of the Great & Powerful Seer? I was unaware of how much it meant to me until they switched it around. I think it was the rap on the head I needed.