Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Death by Declan MacManus

So a childproofed home is a joke in many senses.  Basically you make your own life harder in every little unimaginable way.  You don't consider the ramifications of placing a security lock on your toilet until you're bursting at the seams trying to relieve yourself and become incapable of  a fluid push-slide-twist maneuver!  My point though is that no matter how equipped you think you've made your home, like futuristic machines set to kill humans, they just adapt to the restrictions and seek out weaknesses like top notch hackers.

So my daughter is right at three-feet-tall right now.  That means with her arm reach, she can now control the DVD player with ease and no tip toe action.  In case you're wondering, yes at two years old she effortlessly controls remotes to the TV, DVD & Wii (including navigating between games and Netflix) oh and our iPhones too!

She gets in trouble if she cranks the volume on the surround sound.  She also gets in trouble for flipping a show or movie off and clicking over to Elmo, Blue, Barney or any of her other favorites in the blink of an eye.  So when it comes to switching out DVDs from the device that's just strictly prohibited.


This is why. 

I'm not a Malaysian sweatshop worker.  I shouldn't know what the inside of my DVD player looks like.

Why am I looking at the inside of my DVD player?

This is why.

The power of a two year old cracked an Elvis Costello CD in half.  Well in pieces to be specific.  There is still a missing piece.  Shel Silverstein's poems didn't account for drawer number three coming off its track, thus crippling the whole machine!

 Yeah, all the King's Horses and All the Kings Men
can't get that back in working order again.


  1. child proof stuff is hilarious because it's really adult proof as well. Very hard to open all of that stuff.

  2. Absolutely! The twinge of shame as something meant to keep your infant out defeats you is horrible. Thanks for stopping by!