Friday, November 26, 2010

Day 26 - Have You Ever Thought About Giving Up On Life? If So, When And Why?

I'm assuming they mean Suicide and not just being a lifeless shell of a person.  So, I'm gonna go on a brief rant in the following.  Soapbox and all!

In my life I've run the gamut of negative emotions.  I have felt depressed and worthless.  I have wondered why everything I do just sucks.  I've wondered why life has to be so difficult sometimes.  I have hated everyone and everything around me. 

I have never thought suicide was the solution. 

When those thoughts cross my mind, I am always able to remember other side of the coin.  I've been felt on top of the world.  I've loved my life.  I've thought things shouldn't be this good for anyone.  I've cherished everything and everyone around me.

No, I'm not bipolar.  I don't feel these things at the same time or swing from one extreme to another.  I'm just able to see something other than my own black hole.  Even the slump I've been in that sparked me doing this little challenge wouldn't make me want to just give up.  I have a beautiful family.  Stress that comes along with them and terror involved with paying for it, included.  They've made a life worth living for even better. 

Having made my case of why I don't see it as an option, I'd like to comment on people who commit suicide in general.  People who commit suicide are the most vile people on the planet save those who kill others.  Killing oneself is the ultimate act of hatred and selfishness.  You may think people around you don't care, but everyone you leave behind.  I could go on but frankly they just disgust me so I'll make an appeal to folks contemplating it.

My plea is that you seek help.  If help isn't there, know this: You can always change your situation.  It may be difficult to do so.  It may take some drastic alterations.  It can be done though and you will be far better off for it.  If you are scared of the consequences...suicide is far worse.  If the people in your life don't accept you, killing yourself doesn't change anything except your existence.  If they are the problem, what's the big deal with leaving them behind?  Afraid of how it would affect them or that they would try to stop you?  Your death takes their feelings and abilities out of the equation.  Why not just do that with out the messiness?  

Ultimately your decision to kill yourself is weak.  But it takes some balls to pull it off.  Why not take that assertive moment and make a break for it.  Why not change your job.  Change your relationship.  Change your life.  It is possible.  Nothing is so bad that death is an option. 

And please don't go to the whole terminal illness/pain argument.  It's as ridiculous as rape or incest being a rationale for abortion.  They are such a minute percentage of the actual cases.  Exceptions are exceptions.  Even then they are weak. 

So, I've made my point.  It was long and rambling.  But I can tell you this in summary.  My life at its lowest points is still worth living.  Nothing will ever change that.  I hope you feel the same way.

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