Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 3 - Something you have to Forgive Yourself For.

Yeah, so I've been mulling this over since yesterday and I don't know if I can forgive myself for a long series of stupid decisions.  I can admit what has brought me into this funk I've found myself in.  Is it forgivable?  Absolutely not.  They were stupid decisions I can't blame on youth.  Money is what I'm talking about here folks.

I'm very irresponsible with money.  I married someone who (by comparison) very good with money.  I'm like a giant cinder block tied around her waist as she struggles against the tide though.

I will not bore you with specifics, but I do know that if I could get one thing in my head at about 17, it would have been proper money management.  I am at a point in my life where a credit score is everything.  Where investments would be great but not having the option is brutal.  Where friends and peers have made decisions and accomplished things with the same starting point and been much wiser than myself.

I need to stop torturing myself for these failings and start to move on to fixing and living my life.  I'm just not ready to.  I know this is why I'm unhappy and frankly angry with myself and most of the world right now.  I'll table this for the time being since I'm sure it will come up in the "Letter to Myself" portion of this challenge.

2 comments:

  1. Dorn - So far I totally relate to your Day 1 and Day 3 posts (no children, so yesterday's isn't really too close to home for me...). I, too, am one who puts things off a lot more than I should and I hate that about myself. I wish I had more follow-through and was better about finishing things. I'm working on that, though.

    I also wish I was better with finances. Like you, I married someone who is much more capable of dealing with such things and I'm kind of a cinder block to her, too. I feel bad about it and wish I had been more on top of things when I was younger. Part of it really ties into the aforementioned "lack of follow-through" issue...

    You know, I was interested in doing this 30 day challenge, but I just don't have the courage to post everything like you do. I think it is really cool that you're doing this. Keep it up, man.

    John

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  2. Thanks John. My blog is less pure entertainment and writing gold like yours. So my forum lends itself to a bit more unadulterated truth. Though I have to admit, while it probably appears that I'm posting everything, there is still a great deal of "off the table" subjects.

    Like I stated in the first post, this is my try at guided self therapy. Thanks for the encouragement! I'm hopeful this isn't just an exercise and will allow me to make the changes for the better.

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