Tuesday, October 26, 2010

You Son of a Biscuit Eater

I have a foul mouth.  
  • I taper it around most of my employees and many superiors.  
  • My parents and in-laws to a degree get a toned down version.  
  • Strangers and the elderly (grandparents included) get the angelic vocabulary.
  • Coworkers tend to get the full crude conversational Dorn.  
  • My wife certainly gets the extreme version.  
I'm not sure how there is a subconscious (semiconscious) censor or filter in my head.  If that exists, than I should be able to have it turned on permanently right? 

I try to keep it out of my blog, but there are at least a dozen I can think of with at least one of  "the four horsemen of the sailor mouth."  Fuck is probably my favorite word of all.  The rest are frequently used, but none are my go to like fuck.  I'm not even sure how it started.  I remember making a conscious effort when I was in high school to clean up my language.  I'm not sure how I fused church and Carlin's "seven words you can't say on television" but I made it work.

So now that my oldest child is becoming a walking tape recorder, it is weighing heavily on my mind. 

At this point, I don't care where it comes from, I just want to know how to turn it off like a light switch.  My vocab (while I may joke about its limited depth) isn't terribly shallow.  I should be able to express myself more appropriately.  I'm going to be 31 next week for goodness sake!  It's time to act/speak like an adult!  Although, that line of though is funny considering these are the words you aren't allowed to say when you are a child.  "When you're an adult, you can cuss and swear to your hearts content, but under my roof, I'll be damned if I'm going to tolerate that shit!"

So, assuming my favorite advice givers are very far above the depravity that is being a foul mouthed mother effer, do you have any friends who have conquered a nasty little habit like this?  Could you please share any helpful advice they might be willing to offer?  Please let me know if swear jars or rubber band around the wrist actually work.

I would love it if "Lint Licker" was in my repertoire of insults, alas I'm stuck with the tried and true B***** or the ever controversial C***.

Dirty Mouth Lint Licker
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