I got off early today. I came home to find an empty house. The wife and kids and in-laws are out Halloween shopping. Savor the brief moments to yourself right? I cracked open a bottle of wine and have been watching Oprah. I know right? I'm feeling like a housewife already!
Jane Fonda is on. Dude, did you realize she's 75 years old? Holy moly! Aside from what I can only describe as a case of pink eye, that woman still looks great!
She's talking about doing a life review. Interviewing family and reflecting back on her own life. Basically, she is going through and figuring out all the things that happened when she was caught up in her own self interest. She basically was checked out during her own life. No parenting whatsoever. Her life and all the crazy crap and people that woman has done isn't my point though.
She was talking about abuse and how it affects your very psyche (my paraphrasing) and how her mother's own abuse and suicide changed her. I suddenly realized I was getting very irritated. I'm not about to diminish the horrific life shattering event(s) abuse as a child can be. I am entirely uncomfortable listening to people who have discover (her words) "it wasn't their fault, nothing is their fault." I don't mean the abuse. That is obviously not the child's fault. Suicide is rarely someone else's fault.
What I do mean is, writing off your own past failings and deplorable behavior because you or someone else were abused or a parent took their life is crap. I don't understand how she can sit there as a figure people look up to (don't go there...) and say that if you were abused as a child and were a horrible parent, you are absolved of wrong doing.
One of my best friends constantly speaks in terms of how things affect psyches. For example: Two children, both of low social economic, one black, one white; the white child will have a better chance of success in life because there are people around them that tell them they can do better. The black child will have a greater chance of failing because he won't have the same praise and encouragement. I'm not going into how much I disagree with so much of that paraphrased concept!
Both of them though speak about how most of the time, things people do and how they interact with the rest of society is entirely their own responsibility. Jane and my friend aren't nearly as shallow as I'm portraying them. My ultimate point is that I think I'm becoming a true crumudgeon! I don't give a crap about the touchy feely things in life any more. I definitely consider the affect on others when I speak and act, but I have no patience to listen to this kind of retarded droll.
Maybe I just need more wine. Maybe this is my own inner self evaluation. I'm just a colder hearted person. That must be my attraction to my wife. She's even less sappy than myself.
Please don't pick apart my disdain for Jane's abuse statements, it really has nothing to do with it, I'm just realizing I don't want to hear it from others. I'm a bad person, I know. I'm just glad I can finally accept it. Oh, now am I being touchy feely? Damn.