Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Rain, when will you learn "Don't Wear Out Your Welcome?"

We got back from Florida and I cut my front lawn the following day.  I didn't bother with the back because I am lazy and attract mosquitoes like bums to a freshly opened pack of cigarettes.

It rained the next few days.  I was going to mow both front and back that weekend but got caught up with life and more laziness.  Damn that stuff just hangs around doesn't it?

It rained a few more days.  If you're a big city type or apartment rat, you might not understand where I'm going with this.  Rain makes the lawn difficult to mow.  The wet grass sticks in the mower meaning you have to unclog it regularly and the ground sinks beneath your feet.  Neither of those activities involving a power machine and a blade fall into the safety zone of life.  So Lazy Dorn just says, nope, not gonna happen.  A fresh cut lawn isn't worth a twisted ankle or severed digit.

The rain continues to fall.  I'm sure mother nature is happy.  I mean, seriously, she's being nourished.  I'm not polluting her air with my gas powered engine.  I'm also not slicing off her lovely blades of grass which help her eat and breath more. 

Well screw you Mother Nature.  My neighbors already know I'm lazy, do they have to have the evidence in the form of 3 foot tall shoots of grass amid my relatively short cut lawn?  Why must you show off how fast you can grow in a week Mr. Weed?  Just take a chill pill.  Everything is still green.  That means you've been gingerly cared for this summer amid 100+ degree weather.

Yes, I'm blogging and whining about the weather.  I have a head ache and a very long day still ahead.  Tonight we have a nighttime meeting with my store operators.  I won't be going home until after 10pm.  On the bright side, the Amazonian weeds (and no, that's not the newest strand imported from Amsterdam) will be shrouded in darkness and therefore unable to taunt me when I go home.

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