Thursday, September 16, 2010


This month is cruising by.  Being on vacation the the first week of the month started the blur of days.  But coming back, even though this is typically a very slow month at work, revenue wise, I've been slammed.  Interviewing people, training folks, planning meetings and whatnot.  I can't pin point what's filling my calendar, because I'm not completing my normal tasks at all. Strangely I do have a feeling of accomplishment even while my day to day has been put on hold.  I think the idea of future change and the wheels that I've greased and started turning has (possibly falsely) given me a big ego about my job performance.

My boss comes into town next week to attend my staff meeting and do some follow up interviews with candidates I've been lining up.  I guess the proof will be in the pudding when he comes to town, he could easily see things very differently. 

So I did something there (yep, right above us in that last paragraph) that I'm realizing I may be really horrible at executing.  Metaphoric language.  I've seen tons of folks speak to this in various forums, so I'll keep this brief as I'm no expert at all.

One of my old coworkers used the phrase "It's colder than a turtle's butt" to describe the weather one day in a team meeting.  We all died laughing and he didn't seem to catch the joke.  He was the type to use the strangest "Texas style" metaphors all the time.  Sure, I can see the connection, a turtle's rear is always hanging out the back of his shell, but still...then again the whole "colder than a witch's tit" isn't much better.

I try to NOT mix my metaphors which is always obvious to the audience and seems to simply elude the speaker.  One of our inventory managers and one of our maintenance managers typically fuel for the fire on conference calls.  "Kicking butt and taking numbers?"  "Waiting for the other shoe to make the dominoes fall."  I can't think of any of their older ones because mixing them just doesn't trying to remember that dance move you screwed up but looked really cool!

I have been stuck in many conversations where I've carried the metaphor too far.  I'll have made so many references about being on a boat/sinking ship/paddling  that I lose my train of thought and end up with no point at all.  Always a winner. 

So, to all of my aspiring writers, is there any great source of help you can point me toward?  Any one hear a fantastic mixed metaphor recently? 

Oh, and don't think the difficulty stops at metaphoric language.  I recently (two weeks ago) found out I've been saying a commonly used phrase all wrong.  "For All Intensive Purposes" has been in my vocab forever.  Now that I know the correct way to say it is "For All Intents and Purposes" I feel like an idiot.  I catch myself correcting it or noticing when I've said it properly.  Amazingly I use it A LOT in every day language.  Probably need to branch out a bit there too.

Happy Friday Folks.  Here's to the ever complicated, beautiful English language!


  1. I think this post is over my head because it went in one ear and out the other.

  2. That was funny AND a real mixed metaphor, not just a screwed up one!