Monday, August 9, 2010

A Social Networking Question

I'm friends with a couple of exes on Facebook.  My wife is too.  We have been together since our early/mid twenties, so everything prior was, well, puppy love or first loves, or however you like to remember your past.  This select few are also obviously amicable break ups and not anything bloody nor emotionally distressing. 

None the less, they are exes and we've moved on to have our own beautiful family.  My two exes have also done the same.  I cannot say the same about my wife's.  I'll leave the "pattern of losers" connection (myself included?) to you kind folks.

I have ignored past "hook ups" for obvious reasons.  FB booty calls when you're married is just WAY out of line.  And frankly reconnecting with these folks could seriously have a damaging affect on my psyche. While these types of reconnection could be humorous, I'm not down.

So today I received a friend request from an ex's mother.  OK, I'm friends with my Mother on Facebook.  I'm friends with my Mother-in-Law too.  There are even a few Mother's of my friends on there (fine, insert Eddie Haskell joke here).  THIS, is pushing it.  While we dated, it there were no animosities, but afterward, I don't recall having a "healthy" relationship with this lady.  I'm sure she's well the "I was another maternal figure in this young man's life" kind of way.  But it's just too weird for me.

What do you think?  Would your spouse even allow the other friends? Where do you draw the line?  Acquaintance?  Coworker?  Current/Former Authority Figures (Bosses/Teachers/Counselors)? Friend of a Friend? Nowhere?


  1. Where I come from everything to do with an ex is bad, bad news.

  2. I haven't had contact with any exes in many years. Nothing wrong if folks are friends, I guess. But I tend to choose the path of least drama. Nothing to hide and no regrets, but for some things, boring is better.

    So says the cowardly man hiding behind a very vague nom-de-blog.

  3. Bray, usually I'd agree, but these were my more innocent days. Everyone who came after 21 would just soon behead me as I would befriend them.

    SG, I needed your sage "path of least drama" advice soooo many times in my 20's. I think this is more a "lie in the bed you've made" situation at this point. BTW, have you and GG ever thought about publishing a book...dualing perspectives and common experiences? (Who knows, maybe even follow it up with that marriage manual?)

  4. I don't know....maybe she's not that technologically savvy and Facebook took all her email addresses and converted them to friend requests? Hey, it could happen.

    There's no freakin' way I'd befriend an ex's mother...that is just too weird. But then, I'm not into the's just for family. I don't care how many people I'm connected to on there.

    (Waves) HI, SG!!

  5. Kathryn, as for the technologically stunted, that's a great rationale I hadn't considered...ignorance is bliss right now. I haven't readdressed it with the wife, so for the time being this problem is in limbo. But your reaction is 100% on course with everyone I've run it by outside of the blog world too.