Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Russian Parasailing Donkey

Don't know if any of you caught this news story.  I ran across it on BBC News. 

Yup, that's a Donkey in the Air Screaming for dear life.
I'm not advocating animal cruelty in any way.  But this type of crazy crap coming from Russia just doesn't seem that strange.  I mean really, vodka courses through their veins.  Is it really so hard to imagine how this went down? 

Bunch of drunk Russians get together to celebrate the purchase of their new private beach. 
Dmitri: Dudes our beach is the awesomest spot in the tundra.
Vlad:  Yeah, this is going to be a cash cow.
Boris:  We should totally advertise on those late night infomercials.
Oleg:  Cheers (raises vodka bottle) comrades.
All Drink
Dmitri:  Damn that's the juice of life!
Boris: We are geniuses!
Oleg:  Imagine all the bikinis and hot asses on the frosty sand!
Vlad:  Cheers to us! (raises vodka bottle)
All Drink
Oleg:  We will be kings of the beach.
Dmitri: I got it, let's fly plane with banner to advertise.
Vlad:  No, no, fly banner on back of parasailer on back of boat.
Boris: That's it, genius! Cheers! (raises vodka bottle)
All Drink
Boris:  Wait, Wait, the beach has asses right?
Vlad:  Oh dude, yeah!
Oleg:  Fly an Ass in the air!
Dmitri: Everyone will flock to our beach for asses!  (raises vodka bottle)
All Drink
Vlad: I'll call my cousin with a donkey farm!
Boris:  Is ceiling spinning?
Dmitri: Drink again. (raises vodka bottle)
All Drink
Oleg:  Yes book a donkey. (raises vodka bottle)
All Drink

No way I was going to attempt typing in a Russian accent.  Just use your imagination.

The quote "The donkey screamed and children cried" truly made me laugh.  I'm sick I know. 

The police were complaining that no one "had the brains to call the police."  They all just stood around and took pictures.  Remember what I said about vodka in their veins?  I guess America isn't the only country raising apathetic jack asses.


  1. You had me at "Russian Parasailing Donkey." (Uh, not in the Jerry Maguire way, though. No offense.)

    I'm pretty sure you did type the dialogue with a Russian accent, since that is how I read it.

    Okay, I can't stop laughing about this. I mean, on one hand it is rather mean to the donkey. On the other, though, I keep looking at the pic, which is hilarious.

    Good stuff. :)

  2. The photo looks like a cell from a Looney Tunes cartoon. Hard to really take it seriously. That said, it's really sad, that poor animal won't be able to enjoy a clear sky for years!