Sunday, July 25, 2010

I Must be on my Period or Something

Ever since Friday's emotional trauma, I haven't been all that stable.  My wife's cousins came to town for a wedding and stayed with us.  After they left we went to San Antonio to visit my Brother & Sister in law.  He just graduated Officer Medic training for the National Guard.  He was flying back home today, so it would be our last chance to see them for a little while.  I was able to keep it together for each of these "In Law Interactions."

But god help me if I didn't get all emotional around every other corner. 

You know those new iPhone 4 commercials with the little picture in picture video chat?  Click here.  They are totally pulling emotional heart strings.  A grandfather meets his granddaughter.  A soldier meets his baby.  A boyfriend tells his girlfriend her super cropped new haircut looks good.  A father tells his daughter she looks beautiful with her braces.  Seriously, the dad singing to his little girl to make her smile and show her braces has made me well up every time it's aired.  WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???

I've been exceptionally short tempered with my daughter too.  Beyond the dink punches and junk jabs she regularly delivers (without really knowing...I hope); I've snapped yelled at her so many times this weekend.  ASSHOLE DADDY LOSES CONTROL?

I was helping my wife write the birth story about our son to send to our Bradley Natural Birth classmates.  I started blathering on about how beautiful he was when he was born and how I couldn't imagine not having him in our lives.  Eh, Fathers are aloud to be proud right?

I hit a toad with my mower today.  Yes there was blood and guts shooting out the side of my mower and it was soooooo gross.  I felt so weighed with remorse I couldn't think straight, let alone keep the sweat from pouring into my eyes.  I grabbed the rake and went through the rest of the lawn to make sure any and all animals moved so I could continue.  SUCH A RETARDED SAP.  Well, I might have done the same regardless of the soul crushing that sent my world into chaos. 

We settled in to watch The Box (Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella) and one of the previews was for the Blind Side.  Sandra Bullock said her adopted son was changing her life and I teared up.  I FUCKING TEARED UP DURING A PREVIEW!!!!!  

I was laying on the couch with my daughter watching Phinneas & Ferb and found myself laughing at the stupidest of puns.  I'M BEYOND HOPE AREN'T I???

I'm sure the bottle of wine I singlehandedly polished off each night didn't help either.  But holy hell, I have got to pull it together.  I'm supposed to be watching my words and reactions, worrying about my emotions just compounds the problems.  This week better end on a good note.  Just sayin'.

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