Sunday, June 27, 2010

Romantic Comedies

My wife chose Leap Year for us to watch tonight.  Admittedly, Amy Adams looks hot in a pair of heels.  It was also not unendurable.  But I want to know why EVERY romantic comedy forces the same story arc. 

- Start of Flick:

Female Character: Cute, Witty, Sometimes Helpless, Hates the primary male character. Typically she is involved with another male in the flick.  Drama begins with the other male with in 15 minutes of character development. 

Primary Male: General Rapscallion.  Highly irritated by the Female.  Devastatingly handsome and charming but with a bad boy air about him.  Secretly has something the female wants besides his throbbing member.

- About 20 minutes into the film we discover the plot twist that throws the Female Character and Primary Male into a desperate situation together.  This can be travel companion, coworker, or random stranger roped into a tall tale to exit a sticky situation.

Female Character: Begins to find the Primary Male attractive.  Reveals independent spirit and vulnerability.  Accidentally makes a pass at the Primary Male under duress.

Primary Male: After receiving a pass and later being dejected, creates drama between he and the Female.

- If the Female's best friends are integral characters, they step in for the rescue.  If the best friends are non existent, a hilarious situation will arise to reveal the stupidity the Female has represented. 

Female Character: Now hates the male but cannot contain her inner feelings and will have sex with the Primary Male.

Primary Male: Reveals superiority over the situation presented and SCORES!

-  Time for a twist.  

The female character remembers the purpose of the quest that linked her and the Primary Male together to begin with.  New found determination is discovered.

Primary Male is now over the Female or now more determined than ever to show superiority over the "other male."

- Climax.

Now's the time when the sentimental moments of the film are displayed in grandiose fashion.

Female Character: Thanks the Primary Male for assistance or whatever to reconvene with "other male."

Primary Male: Reveals biggest twist that shows his sensitive side, thus winning over the Female just before her grand exit. Alas, he's too late because a preordained plot keeps them from re-fulfilling the bond earlier revealed.

- Down Slide

Female Character: Shows a tinge or regret after sending Primary Male on his way, "other male now present."

Primary Male: Snubbed by "Other Male" leaves to return to ordinary life with overwhelming regret that he let THE ONE slip away. 

- Ultimate Aw

Female Character: Entirely hung up on self and in the moment of the love from "other male."

Primary Male: Returns a scene later to steal the Female away from the "other male" in the clutch. 

-Tears abound from every female viewer.  Men across the world throw up a little in their mouths.  Pure Romantic Dialog Ensues.  Kisses and Happily Ever After Moments Abound. 

Remarkably every romantic comedy I can think of at this moment uses the reverse sexes from my scenario like My Best Friend's Wedding, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Forces of Nature.  All still barftastic, so I'm not worried that I came up short on this one.  (Sadly, that's what she said!) 

Cheers to love, really.


  1. Yep. That is probably the most accurate synopsis for every single rom-com ever made.

    Admittedly, I've put my foot down on watching Leap Year. I'm okay with that, though, because the Mrs. has no desire to watch The Expendables -- to choose the first "guy" movie that comes to mind -- with me.

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  3. Seriously? The cast is the epitome of guy movie! That'd be like you saying she can't watch Valentine's Day. Oh wait, if she had any self respect she wouldn't want to watch it to begin with. (Sadly we did. Talk about reverse story arch. Happy at the beginning, sad for an hour and a half and happy at the end.) She only bails on me when I'm in Zombie Movie Mode. I made her watch The Reader by herself.