Thursday, June 24, 2010

Redneck Creativity On Sale Now at a Store Near You

Ran across a couple random shopping oddities this week.  I say oddities, because the are really weird to me and they're displayed in the store like it's no big thing.  These are both redneck inspired fo sho! 

Fathers' Day Gifts.  OK, so Mother's get flowers and various other pretty items like jewelery, perfume, lobster dinners, etc.  Mother's Day cards are full of sacchariney mushy blah blah blah.  Father's Day cards thank Dad for not killing the kids accidentally on fishing trips or intentionally when they interrupt Monday Night Football.   We all know Dad doesn't give a shit, right?  So what's a Dad really want?  Beer and junk food.  While I'll admit, it is not that far fetched, I've not really seen it packaged and displayed and with it's own coupon!

These are wrapped up like wedding baskets that should include things like smoked salmon and champagne. Notice these are located in the floral department of our local H.E.B. Grocery store. 

First, loose the basket.  Grab me a cooler.
Better yet, grab me a sixer.
 Why not just tie a ribbon around the 7-11 bag?
Now this is from the Mom who's hoping
to get Dad hopped up on Red Bull,
Corn Nuts, wait, Store Brand Chips? WTH?
Dad's not even worth springing for the Doritos?

So you know the saying "if Duct Tape can't fix it, you haven't used enough?"  No? Well then you obviously grew up wealthier than I did.  We were picking up some stuff to hang frames at the local Michael's craft store.  I ran across this.  As an aside, I know Duck Tape is the brand name, so it isn't the promotion's stupidity stating Duck instead of Duct. Duck Tape brand Duct Tape, thank you for helping dumb down of the nation, one step at a time.

Yes folks, that would be fashion made from Duct Tape.
 Holy crap, this has been going on for 10 years?
The wallet was pretty cool.
Those are two belts they also used an expamles.
That'd be a fully functional purse.
I guess it's sorta like pleather.

Seriously, I had no idea this crap existed.  Well, Duct Tape, yes.  Duct Tape fashion, no.   Looking at the images on the posters though, people can do damn near anything really.  They look like Halloween costumes, but impressive detail nonetheless.  Oh and a $3000 scholarship, you bet my dorky ass would have participated.

Rock on Rednecks.  Keep the creativity flowing.  And I'll bet you thought you were going to see a bunch of images from There I Fixed It Dot Com.  Which by the way is just as funny as People Of Wal-Mart Dot Com.  You know, just in case you wanted to waste some more quality time with funny interwebs crap.


  1. I was ahead of the curve on this one. On a prom night long ago, couldn't get the hatch to stay closed on my car (79 Plymouth Horizon hatchback, natch) and used black duct tape to hold it closed and make it through the night. You could hardly tell. Only a corn nut / Red Bull combo could have made that night any classier. Freebird!

  2. And still forging paths today! Classy and prom is a word combination that rarely meet. Family Guy's "Prom Night Dumpster Baby" still gets me horror struck while simultaneously laughing. A lot like Freddie Got Fingered. Hmm, starting to see a pattern of humor with which a shrink would have a field day.