Wednesday, May 5, 2010

When There Are Only Two of You: YOU ARE YOU!

Maybe we use pronouns too much.  Then again, it would weird me out if someone kept using my first name repeatedly in a conversation.  Kinda like they'd just read a negotiation book or something.  It is after all our favorite word to hear!

Crawling into bed the other night, I placed my warm hand on my wife's frozen thigh. 

Me: Wow, you're cold
She: Who is?
Me: You're the only "you" in the room.
She: Well I didn't know.
Me: Honey, if I start talking to myself in second person you should be afraid.
She: You could have been talking to your penis!
Me: I don't talk to him in front of you.
She: So you admit you talk to him.
Me: No I didn't, I just wouldn't do it in front of you if I did!
She: You said don't, not wouldn't.
Me: Whatever, besides he does all my thinking for me, I don't necessarily have to talk to him.
She: That's for sure.
Me: Did I tell you he looked exceptional today?
She: Huh?
Me: The mirror in the convenience store was oddly placed right next to the urinal.
She: OK?
Me: So I don't usually get to see myself pee.
She: You never look down?
Me: I mean, not from another person's perspective.
She: I think that's enough sharing for the night.
Me: K, g'nite.

Gotsta keep her on her toes!


  1. I've had that mirror moment, too. I don't think guys look at themselves -- full body -- in the mirror very much, and when we catch a glance from another perspective it can be jarring (and hopefully not depressing).

  2. You're absolutely right. Vanity keeps the depression away...