Monday, May 24, 2010

Noah was a Dick

The mosquito has to be THE most worthless creature.  It does nothing positive in the world.  They just multiply into more and more blood suckers who leave itchy whelps and ruin the outdoors.  Hmmm, pretty much the same concept as the homeless, wonder if there's a Deet for that?

I think even a bible thumper would agree with me and my title in this regard.  Assuming the whole two by two story were true, like everything else in the great book of course.  Noah was a major jerk for not just swatting at least one of these pieces of crap.  So, thanks for the whole saving humanity thing, but you're still a dick!
I can honestly say, aside from the "thinning of the herd" benefit, there is zero good that comes from these.  I'm not sure if West Nile virus nor Malaria will kill you.  Probably would, but still.  Pretty sure this task can be taken care of in much less annoying ways like guns, drunk drivers, AIDS and emo music. I KEED, I KEED!

I tried spraying my lawn with Off.  Yes, I know the key ingredient is Deet and I also know how bad it is for the environment and living creatures.  Do I care? No!  If I can't use my back yard, why should I care about the things that live in it?  And it is no shocking revelation that I'm selfish.  I just usually don't take everyone else down to satisfy myself.  For this, I needed my wife's goading.  She made me buy the stuff. Can I sit here and brag that it worked?  Hell no!  I applied it at night so I hadn't noticed the part that sucks the poison up into the water stream had become dislodged.  I literally spent an hour getting wet and eaten alive for naught.

Mosquitoes: 1 Human: -10

 Oh, wait, I do know something I like about mosquitoes!  
 And that's still a stretch!

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