Thursday, April 8, 2010

Why Garbagemen SUCK!

I am about to venture into the cantankerous old curmudgeon zone and I'm only friggin' 30 years old!

We have trash service every Monday.  Recycling service falls every other Monday.  Since the new single stream recycling program came along that accepts nearly EVERYTHING, we could get away with only putting our trash out twice a month and some times even less!  I'm not joking, we only go through a bag of trash a week in the kitchen and one from the baby's nursery.  If vacations hit just right or I've missed (woken up late) a few trash days, we've actually gone a full month without using the garbage service.  Conversely, I cannot skip a recycling pick up...unless we've been on vacation. 

So, since I'm paying an outrageous fee for a service I could literally reduce by 75%, I get really irritated when I come home to this at my house. 
This happens at least 80% of the time.  Yes that's a made up on the spot statistic that is reasonable as basically once every other month my trash can will land vertically.
Can I just tell you that I do not envy the days of metal trash cans and neighborhoodrats bashing them up nor the noise involved.  I do however miss knowing that a profession that deals with the WORST part of my home is paid well for their contribution.  But now days, this isn't hard work for a trash man.  There isn't a guy hanging on the back of the truck inhaling a community's rotting leftovers and dirty diapers!  There isn't a man who has sacrificed pride and a weak stomach to touch the untouchable! 

What is there then?  There are a couple guys riding in an air conditioned cab of a giant machine pressing a button every other minute.  This clamp literally lowers down around the can and a hook catches the front.  It then raises the receptacle in the air, inverting it so it loses its contents into the top of the truck's bin.  It is then supposed to replace the trash receptacle to it's original position.

Remember, I do not always use this service...yet at least once a month, there is still a bag or more in the bottom of the f*ing can!  Usually it gets hung up on a broken dry cleaning hanger or a piece of Styrofoam wedged just right.  Sure they are abnormal, but if an actual person tipped it over, they'd see it and do it again!   No these guys never even step foot outside the truck, let alone touch the can. 

So when they press their lever to lower the can that they may or may not have emptied, they don't wait for it to fully release before they've begun driving to the next garbage can.  Thus the reason most of our trash cans are knocked over every week.

Oh, and before you say it, I know it's not the aforementioned hoodrats.  While I wouldn't put it past them, I've seen it myself.  I'll be leaving for work and hear them coming around, so I'll wait to pull the can up from the street.  Bam, tossed out on the street like an unwanted kitten. 

Seriously, I sound like an 85 year old retiree who has nothing better to do than complain about the insignificant happenings just outside his front door.  But I'm paying for a service I only half need and am getting NOTHING for it.  I should just start stealing trash service like the lowlifes that dump UNBELIEVABLE amounts of crap around my locked dumpster at my South store on the East side! 

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