Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I'm "That Guy" - Blue Tooth Edition

We all know "That Guy."  That guy who does something that just irritates us.  That guy who may or may not be aware of his actions.  That guy who may or may not know his actions are annoying.  That guy who, if he doesn't change his actions, could become a victim of second degree murder in the blink of an eye.  In case you aren't a Law & Order junkie, second degree murder is what you hear referred to as a "crime of passion/rage."

Today's "That Guy" is "Talking on the Blue Tooth while out in Public" Guy.  For the past 10 years they have been slowly building in numbers across the nation.  This little ear piece that people wear that transmits their cell phone conversation directly into their ear.  It also picks up their voice as if they were speaking directly into the phone.  I remember back in the day when these things were attached via cord to the cell phone on the hip.  Now they are completely cord free and there isn't a separate piece for the mic.  All in one device with mic and speaker at your ear/jaw line.

Texas made it illegal to drive and talk on a cell phone awhile back.  Texting while driving was banned even before that.  This means that people have three options.  Talk on the phone while driving and risk a ticket or worse, killing someone because they aren't paying attention.  Wait until you've arrived at your destination to take or make a phone call...hmmm, pretty sure that's what we did just 15 years ago.  Or you can use a blue tooth device to allow "hands free" phone usage.  Any self respecting business person who travels at all is a fan of option number three. 

A coworker caught me sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant we were meeting at wrapping up a phone call via blue tooth a few months back.  She dogged me hard for being one of THOSE blue tooth people.  I reminded her of the new law and she just gave me a dirty look. 

They are THOSE people because we've all seen the douche bag walking around talking on one.  They appear to be trying to be cool.  At the very least, they are supremely lazy or are afraid to risk tennis elbow by holding the phone to their ear.  Today, I was that douche bag. 

I had back to back conference calls and needed to hang holiday hours signs for Easter at all of my stores.  If I didn't do both at the same time I wouldn't have gotten it done.  So in the first 4 stores I stopped by today, I walked in with my Blue Tooth on my ear.  I was driving and would stop, get the stuff together, step out of the car with my phone on my hip (yeah, "that guy" too) and hang the signs in the window.  Each store my operators would try to talk and I'd add to the douche baggery by pointing to my ear and mouthing "sorry."  I didn't even bother putting the conference on mute at most, I just walked in and saw their look of confusion/disappointment as I walked back out the door.

I'm not "That Guy" Blue Tooth, make you think they are talking directly to you and just as you start to talk back to them you realize they are on their ear phone.  I always feel retarded, like I've done the stupid thing for thinking they'd be talking to me!  They're the douche bag on their blue tooth in public! 

I am however...."That Guy" Blue Tooth Edition, you're not important enough to have my full or even partial attention, because the little people in my ear get it all, douche bag. 

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