Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bob Vila Would Kick My Ass

I had 3 aluminum "towing enforced" signs made for one of my stores last week. I thought I was going to screw them in place and be done with it. Then I realized I couldn't use the poles in around the parking lot because they are owned by the city. So, that leaves me with parts of the building and one of our pylon sign posts for placement. From some type of concrete on the building to the metal post of the sign, I wasn't going to be drilling anything into them.
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New tactic - I'll use adhesive to affix them. Sounds simple enough right? So I read the labels on dozens of items at Home Depot and decide the quick set epoxy will be my best bet. The store manager is a five foot tall 22 year-old Puerto Rican girly-girl. She is a genius, so I asked her to read the instructions to make sure I was following them properly. I needed a "disposable wooden stick" to blend the two chemicals together that apparently is not included. Why wouldn't they just include one in the package? I think she jumped when I whacked an old thingamajig against the shelf to break it in half to make the "tool" necessary for the job. This crap smelled like a perm...yes like what you do to your hair to get 80's curls. Totally Gag-Tastic. +
After 10 minutes of holding this sign in place in the heat of the afternoon we determine it's good. I come back with a second sign for the other side and see that the first has slid so it is now crooked. She laughed at me until I made her hold up the wall as it continued to dry and headed across the parking lot. 10 more minutes holding the 5 minute quick set and I realized I suck.
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Went to Lowe's and asked for help this time. The lady recommended this silicone metal roofing stuff that required a caulking gun. Sure why not. My store manager laughed and laughed at me as that turned out to be an even bigger failure. I made her clean up my mistake and headed back to Lowe's to get better advice and a refund.
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Leave it to a couple of men to point me in the right direction. I show back up with my new product in hand and not only does it look more like what I'd originally thought I was purchasing, but it freaking worked instantly!
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Third time was the charm, but my ego is bruised and honestly I know that in the future I'll ignore my company's no-spend policy and hire someone to do this crap for me.

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