Too much Guinness & Jameson last night! I was so testy this morning I bit boss man's head off. I think he's tired of hearing my bitching and moaning about the same thing over and over. Corporate keeps telling us my department is the future of the company. They keep saying how they are focusing on it and pouring all kinds of resources. The whole company is hurting because the different groups in charge over the last 15 years haven't progressed us forward at all. The entire industry may be in trouble, but we're being led by people who are trapped in the traditions of the past. While they cling to the old days the panic and make irrational decision to try and "turn things around." They give changes two weeks to miraculously convert shit into stellar profits. Completely unrealistic expectations are getting my and boss man's jobs threatened daily. I'm so apathetic anymore.
The worst is when they preach I've given you to tools to be successful and you've failed. In their minds they've given me a saw, drill, vice grips and lumber to create a dog house for a Doberman Pincher. The reality is they've hidden a nail file, screw driver, rubber band and toilet paper in the deep recesses of the world. And now their Chihuahua is pissing all over the house I built! OK, stupid analogy, but Fuck them. I'm tired of playing their shitty games and being told I'm not performing up to the standards. They are clueless as to what goes on out here, they only see little figures on a spreadsheet. "All you have to do is increase this number and decrease this number." Hell do they think I just entered the data into excel incorrectly? Could it possibly be the past decade of stupid decisions they've made? Love rhetorical questions, don't you? This time last year, I was doing the work of two corporate managers. With the lay offs, they've given me the responsibility of four managers and the half the pay of one. Boss man has promised compensation and yet I've seen nothing. Meanwhile other managers around me who took two years to finally begin doing their job get rewarded with raises, promotions and corporate reach arounds. Screw corporate America. We are not as important as we think we are. Life will go on if we weren't doing this crap. I'm not paid enough to care or tolerate the stress. I wish I could kick the 19-year-old me in the ass to keep me from dropping out of college. I'm over half way to my degree...can I really go back? God help me if I do, Fuck me if I don't!